So, it seems I have Finals

Yeah, what are those?

I've been "off-line" for a few weeks now and it'll be a few more till I'm back in the Blogging Stratosphere proper but I need a little diversion right now.

So, dealing with the pressure of Finals and all that academic whatever, I require a few comforts.  However, all of what I need has not been invented/made legal yet.  So can the following please get their collective asses on it.

1) Dear LV (that's Louis Vuitton, geeks) - Please can you design a fashionable brown paper bag into which I can hyperventilate .

LV

2) Dear David Cameron - Can you prescribe Adderall as part of all degrees?  It will be the one good thing you do as PM.

3) To all Lab bench Monkeys - Stop being Frack - Wits - being stand-offish, dismissive and rude.  We're in the same Dept. and I have the same desire to learn as you do - stop being dicks!

4) Dear Uni of Cambs - Can we have nail techs on request...that's not so much a request, more an order...I hate revision and I hate it even more when it breaks my nails.

To The Lab Bench Monkies Ruining My Day

5) Dear God/Omnipresent Being/Dude in the Sky/Buddha - Can you increase my metabolism?  All this sitting in front of a computer, making notes, cramming pointless info into my head is boring and encourages boredom eating.  A sedentary lifestyle does not lead to a perfect physique...Basically, can you stop my ass getting fat and flatten my stomach?

6) Dear Cosmetic Surgeon - Can I look as Fabulous as This Lady?

Oh Nicki Nicki Nicki....❤

That is all I request.  And No...I'm not asking for too much.

Crimes Against Fashion

This post is not going to chastise those who unfortunately lack any notion of what fashion is, nor is it going to be a rant about how high-street stores destroy perfectly decent trends (eh em...Topshop!).  This post is in fact aimed at the Local Council and the pain it inflicts on fashion.

Rather fitting for the day of City Council elections, don't you think?

So, what has the Council done?  They have made the pavements too high and the roads too tarmac-ie and hard.

Why is this a crime against fashion?  Because it forces you to wear sensible shoes and if you wear, what I call normal shoes, i.e. heels, you are destined for failure and doom...and possibly pain...

Local Council Bastards...look at that knee...that knee is now a crime against fashion, as are the sensible shoes I am forced to wear as I hobble around in an unfashionable way! 

Although in true Lab Bench Lady style, sensible does not equate to boring...

Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

I am holding the Council personally responsible for my pain.  And you ruined my So-So Fly freshly done did pedi...ruined my shoes, my legs and my nails...

You've just hit The Lab Bench Lady's Most Wanted List!

How did it happen?  I was walking my bike along the pavement and went to cross the road - tripped, fell down and was crushed my the bike.  Now, I don't blame the bike because she is a Princess and wouldn't have fallen on me if it hadn't been for pavement and tarmac silly-ness. 

So, Council Peeps...you're only going to get my vote if you make pavements lower and roads softer.  It's that simple!

Us Lab Bench Ladies Got To Stick Together

Here's a manicure I done did for a friend, who is also a So-So Fly Biologist.  We're showing those Nerds how it's done!

The manicure is Polka Dot Dotty using Barry M varnishes (Coral and Black).  Took me a while to paint in full - I'm a perfectionist.  But a Big Thank You to the Dahling who lent me her keratin canvases...I'd be happy to manicure again - if you ever have 5 hours to spare ^_^

Polka dots on nails has been trending for several years but they have never left the scene because they can work with most colour combos and they are pretty easy to paint - just use the end of a paint brush or anything with a small blunt end.

So get painting - I want to see those Polka Dot claws at a Lab Bench near me!

Here's some more polka dot inspiration for you:
(Please note - the pictures below are not mine)

Polka Dot Stilettos

Katy Perry - Serial Hottie - Polka Dot Nails

Loving the Bows

Metallics on Black

Cheerleader Look #10: I Need A Photographer

Any offers?

I'm bored of taking pictures of me posing like a Lame-O in my bedroom mirror.  I Need A Photographer.

I also need a new setting, new scenery.  As the weather has been absolutely stupendous recently, I thought I would take a few photos of my Lab outfit out on my balcony.  The view is lovely...however, my photography is not!  It's a lot harder to take pictures of yourself than I thought!

Balcony View

I look a bit disjointed...head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!

Head, Shoulders

Knees

Toes

Outfit: Vintage Leather Jacket - Sheer Pink Shirt (buttoned to the top) - My Fav High-Waisted Jeans - Orange Sandals

 

So, if you fancy yourself a photographer, please get in touch!  I need you now!

Shit Google Says

Yes, the trend of "Shit people say" has proved that we all talk a lot of shit - not even scientists are immune!

That video is rather accurate, although I think they could have made it funnier...perhaps they were trying to convey how mundane biological research can be...at times!  

I also think they missed out a few, for example: all my plants/cells/organisms died (and it wasn't my fault), and I need another cup of tea, it's probably down to genetic redundancy...please let me know of any others you think may be appropriate.

But onto other shit.  Blogger has recently updated their "blogging interface" - that's what they told me and the whole screen thingey looks different.  Now, I can see who is stalking me...no, I kid, I kid!  But it does allow me to view referring sites and URLs and what words internet geeks enter into Google that then land them on my site.  Some are...unusual O_o.

My top three are (that is my most amusing top three):

♥ Fluorescent Green Protein Cat

♥ Types of bench

♥ Sex Labbench

The last one - what to do with that?  I have a feeling they may have been disappointed when they landed on my page!

But how/why on earth did Google think my site was appropriate?  GFP cats and bench sex?  Either Google and the internet talks a lot of shit or I do...no need to answer that question people...we all know it's the latter...no, shit!...I mean the former!

Am I becoming the Department's cheerleader?

In a bid to motivate/amuse myself, I've been doing exactly what it says on the tin...using the Lab Bench as my catwalk.  My essentials are:

♥ Sky-high heels
♥Fitted jeans
♥ Fitted top
♥ Cute socks
♥ Fierce Mani


How to make a gif

Top - New Look; Jeans - River Island; Shoes - ASOS; Socks - Topshop (Gotta' ♥ the high street)

Unfortunately, the catwalk had to be my room @ college...I am yet to ask the Cambridge Professors to let me have a photo shoot in the Lab...mmmm...maybe I can incorporate some Gilson pipettes and Eppendorf tubes...any suggestions?

In regards to my cheerleader status - I'm not working in a Lab at the moment and some consider that to be "Not being a real scientist!" - I'm just there in a support capacity!  Well, that may be verging on the truth (for the time being) but you're  teaming a polo neck with ill-fitting jeans and trainers...therefore, I WIN!

This week's most coveted...

] Vintage Lab Bench Lady ]

Inspired by Vintage/Archived Versace - Lady Gaga's current obsession - rumour is she is having a love affair with Donatella Versace ^_~...

Gaga Fashion

Using bright colours and classical motifs, Vintage Lab Bench Lady can be described as opulent and theatrical with a touch of Venetian carnivale.  It combines a simple melange of fabrics, textures, and patterns - using pieces of organza, gold braid and harlequin.  Let us revel in majestic splendor!

Thanks to:
HRH Bumper