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Showing posts with label Pashley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pashley. Show all posts

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Young, Free, Rich & Hungover

I guess that makes me a typical Young Adult, right?

Just finished another undergraduate degree, destroying my liver, hating men, loving men, shopping as if I have an income, not growing up and assuming responsibility...being close to 30 yet acting 18.

I'm also currently obsessed with Grunge blogs - the teenager in me won't yield.  And Yeah, that's the 90s grunge trend, which is itself probs a version of some earlier trend.  Trends are being "revisited" and "revived" even before they've finished.  As Patsy says in Ab Fab:  "Get your clothes back from the dry cleaners and it's a revival!"

Anyhoooooooo, fashion bitch over...whatevs like...

Post-finals, I am now free to do whatever the hell I want with my life.  Destroy it any fashion I see fit.  But being the eternal teenager, I am unable to achieve this without the guidance of a few role models. 

Two Blonde South African Honeys:

Charlize Theron - Beautiful, Elegant, Stylish, Sexy...



Young Adult


Why wouldn't you want to emulate such a beautiful woman?

But I know my style is a little more flamboyant.  I'm a Young Adult after all.

So, here is...

Yo-landi Vi$$er - Extrovert Extraordinaire, Loud, Sexy, Brash, Beautiful, Street-As-Fuck...



She got style coming out of all sorts of places


Baby's On Fire



Miss Vi$$er is one half of Die Antwoord.  Click the link if you're feeling fuckin' real.

Flame on, motherfuckers.


Fok Julle Naaiers
Fuck you Wankers 
(Pls Feel Free to correct my translation)



Please note, the above pics/gifs/mp4s are all from their most recent album - 2nd Album - TEN$ION.  But their 1st - $O$ - is fucking marvelous too.

Rich B***h is some fucking high-end shit.



Right now I'm acting like a Rich B***h - a very spoilt rich teenage brat.   Just look at all the goodies people have brought me to say "Well Done!  You survived your finals!"


A Fortnum & Masons Hamper filled with Champagne, truffles and yummy smelling things.  And not only is it stylish but it's functional - it doubles up as a bicycle basket with the F&M logo emblazoned across the front.  The Pashley Princess already loves it!


And of course, a girl needs some beautiful lingerie to cover her beautiful body...


Big Fat Gift Card



But besides fancy gifts, how am I letting the world know I'm young, free, rich and hungover?  NAIL PORN of course!


Elegant Shape with Loud Colours.

All sorts of Glitter and shades of Pink - Mavala Miami & Rose Petal, Models Own HedKandi Ibiza Mix & Nars Super Orgasm.


I also felt the need to dip-dye my hair a wonderful shade of Carnation Pink (LaRiche).  No photos 'coz my camera sukz...

Yes.  So, this is my current life.  Dancing dangerously between elegant beauty and hardcore bitch...actually, I don't think they're mutually exclusive.  Just don't come up to me in the street 'coz I'll probably bottle you while smiling politely and inquiring about your "whatever" life.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Crimes Against Fashion

This post is not going to chastise those who unfortunately lack any notion of what fashion is, nor is it going to be a rant about how high-street stores destroy perfectly decent trends (eh em...Topshop!).  This post is in fact aimed at the Local Council and the pain it inflicts on fashion.

Rather fitting for the day of City Council elections, don't you think?

So, what has the Council done?  They have made the pavements too high and the roads too tarmac-ie and hard.

Why is this a crime against fashion?  Because it forces you to wear sensible shoes and if you wear, what I call normal shoes, i.e. heels, you are destined for failure and doom...and possibly pain...


Local Council Bastards...look at that knee...that knee is now a crime against fashion, as are the sensible shoes I am forced to wear as I hobble around in an unfashionable way! 

Although in true Lab Bench Lady style, sensible does not equate to boring...


Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

I am holding the Council personally responsible for my pain.  And you ruined my So-So Fly freshly done did pedi...ruined my shoes, my legs and my nails...

You've just hit The Lab Bench Lady's Most Wanted List!

How did it happen?  I was walking my bike along the pavement and went to cross the road - tripped, fell down and was crushed my the bike.  Now, I don't blame the bike because she is a Princess and wouldn't have fallen on me if it hadn't been for pavement and tarmac silly-ness. 

So, Council Peeps...you're only going to get my vote if you make pavements lower and roads softer.  It's that simple!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Snow...Go Frak Yourself!

Warning:  this is going to be a massive bitch fest about a meteorological phenomenon

Whooo...it's snowing!  Get over it!

Seriously, Frak Off!  Snow is a bitch...and do you know why?

Because you:

Can't wear heels
Can't wear hot pants
Can't wear leather (hot pants)
Can only wear waterproofs and "sensible" shoes (Q: What are those?)
Have to endure people's endless pictures of snowmen they build
Can't drive your super cute convertible
Have to cope with dry skin and hair...Kérastase and Crème de la Mer can't even save you O_o.
Fall on your bottom even in "sensible" shoes
Get wet feet even in "sensible" shoes
Can't pedal around on your super cute Pashley Princess

I am a Princess
Everything sucks when it snows