We're Back In Bu$iness...

I have been a truly awful blogger of late...absolutely nothing for months...

How have you coped without my worldly, sage-like advice?  I dread to think of the awful fashion and poor music choices you've been forced to make while I have been M.I.A.

And for that I am truly sorry.  I wish I could say something to defend my absence from your life leaving you rudderless.  Well, something plausible, something you would believe...^_^ oh ahahaha...

This isn't an excuse as such but a lot has changed over the last few months...I've graduated without the fainest clue of what to do with my life other than Be Fabulous obvio!  So, really I'm the rudderless one.  But screw that, let's get back on track.  The Lab Bench Lady is back in bu$iness helping you look and feel fabulous xxx ^_^...

How to Get Nailed:

The best thing I girl can have on her hands is time and a fierce mani...

Blue Curaco (Mavala) with accent of Ibiza Mix (Models Own/hedkandi)

Paris (Mavala)

I've also been working on some nail art designs using my fav Mavalas working on a nail wheel.

Yeah, this s**t is So So-Fly even The Koolest Kitties want it.

FYI - I am designing sets of fake nails based on this seasons trends - that's Baroque people - as well as some of your run-of-the-mill awesomeness.  Keep an eye out for the LabBench Lady Talons on various e-marketplaces...yes, you will soon be able to look as hot as me ^_^

Shoe Porn:

Let me introduce you to the newest love of my life...

Vivienne Westwood Perfection...fuchsia skyscrapers...if only all high-rise buildings could be as beautifully coloured as this...sigh!

Notice the "business" books.  Yes, I'm hoping by reading something "businessy" I will in fact become more so...Dream On!  I should also add to that list Machiavelli's The Prince...All I'm missing are some blue eye shadow and big shoulder pads.

Listen to this and people will think you're cool:

Ladies first...

Tokyo Diiva (1% feat. Scotty Rebel)

Azealia Banks (1991)

Iggy Azalea (Murda Bizness feat. TI)

Kreay-Kreay-Kreayshawn (Go Hard La, La, La)

Grimes (Oblivion)

Now, Gentlemen...

Julio Bashmore (Au Seve)

A$AP Rocky (Goldie)

N.B. A$AP Rocky's hat...loves it...

So, no more excuses for being socially unacceptable.  I've told you what is what so now get to it...

P.S. I promise to never leave you for so long again...I love you xXx

Young, Free, Rich & Hungover

I guess that makes me a typical Young Adult, right?

Just finished another undergraduate degree, destroying my liver, hating men, loving men, shopping as if I have an income, not growing up and assuming responsibility...being close to 30 yet acting 18.

I'm also currently obsessed with Grunge blogs - the teenager in me won't yield.  And Yeah, that's the 90s grunge trend, which is itself probs a version of some earlier trend.  Trends are being "revisited" and "revived" even before they've finished.  As Patsy says in Ab Fab:  "Get your clothes back from the dry cleaners and it's a revival!"

Anyhoooooooo, fashion bitch over...whatevs like...

Post-finals, I am now free to do whatever the hell I want with my life.  Destroy it any fashion I see fit.  But being the eternal teenager, I am unable to achieve this without the guidance of a few role models. 

Two Blonde South African Honeys:

Charlize Theron - Beautiful, Elegant, Stylish, Sexy...

Young Adult

Why wouldn't you want to emulate such a beautiful woman?

But I know my style is a little more flamboyant.  I'm a Young Adult after all.

So, here is...

Yo-landi Vi$$er - Extrovert Extraordinaire, Loud, Sexy, Brash, Beautiful, Street-As-Fuck...

She got style coming out of all sorts of places

Baby's On Fire

Miss Vi$$er is one half of Die Antwoord.  Click the link if you're feeling fuckin' real.

Flame on, motherfuckers.

Fok Julle Naaiers

Fuck you Wankers 

(Pls Feel Free to correct my translation)

Please note, the above pics/gifs/mp4s are all from their most recent album - 2nd Album - TEN$ION.  But their 1st - $O$ - is fucking marvelous too.

Rich B***h is some fucking high-end shit.

Right now I'm acting like a Rich B***h - a very spoilt rich teenage brat.   Just look at all the goodies people have brought me to say "Well Done!  You survived your finals!"

A Fortnum & Masons Hamper filled with Champagne, truffles and yummy smelling things.  And not only is it stylish but it's functional - it doubles up as a bicycle basket with the F&M logo emblazoned across the front.  The Pashley Princess already loves it!

And of course, a girl needs some beautiful lingerie to cover her beautiful body...

Big Fat Gift Card

But besides fancy gifts, how am I letting the world know I'm young, free, rich and hungover?  NAIL PORN of course!

Elegant Shape with Loud Colours.

All sorts of Glitter and shades of Pink - Mavala Miami & Rose Petal, Models Own HedKandi Ibiza Mix & Nars Super Orgasm.

I also felt the need to dip-dye my hair a wonderful shade of Carnation Pink (LaRiche).  No photos 'coz my camera sukz...

Yes.  So, this is my current life.  Dancing dangerously between elegant beauty and hardcore bitch...actually, I don't think they're mutually exclusive.  Just don't come up to me in the street 'coz I'll probably bottle you while smiling politely and inquiring about your "whatever" life.

Us Lab Bench Ladies Got To Stick Together

Here's a manicure I done did for a friend, who is also a So-So Fly Biologist.  We're showing those Nerds how it's done!

The manicure is Polka Dot Dotty using Barry M varnishes (Coral and Black).  Took me a while to paint in full - I'm a perfectionist.  But a Big Thank You to the Dahling who lent me her keratin canvases...I'd be happy to manicure again - if you ever have 5 hours to spare ^_^

Polka dots on nails has been trending for several years but they have never left the scene because they can work with most colour combos and they are pretty easy to paint - just use the end of a paint brush or anything with a small blunt end.

So get painting - I want to see those Polka Dot claws at a Lab Bench near me!

Here's some more polka dot inspiration for you:
(Please note - the pictures below are not mine)

Polka Dot Stilettos

Katy Perry - Serial Hottie - Polka Dot Nails

Loving the Bows

Metallics on Black

How To Get Men To Hate You

This one goes out to Samantha Brick...seriously, bitch, follow my advice if you want to lead a normal life...also apologies to The Boy because he his going to hate this...I just couldn't help myself...I ❤ Nail Porn, especially when it's on me ^_^

Well, how do you get men to hate you when you are So-So Fly?  I understand Sam Brick's dilemma...ha...no, I'm in touch with reality (unfortunately)!  But...

One quality that men abhore in women, apart from low self esteem and hair that's not on your head, is [what they consider] horrifically long nails...is that a quality?...ummmm...maybe an attribute...who cares?...anyway, men are not fans of talons and/or nail porn.

I just can't help myself though - I ❤ long Nails!  As well as being very elegant, they are 10 potential canvases on which to paint your personality...anything you desire.

Yes, it is possible to do that on short nails but [they look hideous and] long nails provide you with a much larger surface on which to express yourself!  Go for it!

And if you're in need of nail-spiration check out 10 Blank Canvases - She's a Genius:

10 Blank Canvases

10 Blank Canvases

But back to the task at hand - "How To Get Men To Hate You" with Nail Porn...

I tried my hand at Salon Acrylics - yes D.I.Y. Acrylic Nails O_o...

Alien Barbie

I feel like the female version of Wolverine

I used Kiss: Complete Salon Acrylic Kit.  Having never worn Acrylics before, or any extensions that you don't stick directly on, these worked out fantastically well.  It was surprisingly easy...although it has left me cimpletly incpable of typing withut mistakes...pretty mch evey wrd...

Those 3 words wr for drmtic effct...

Anyways, I'm very happy with these...pretty easy to apply for a complete beginner, giving me Nails long enough to scratch any man's eyes out...c4urslf...

Talons + Pink = A Man's Worst Nightmare

Nicki Minaj - Beez In The Trap

Beez in the Trap

My Nails even go with My Fav Hoodie&Heels:

And I know men, including The Boy, hate nails this long and this pink.  But, in all honesty...

...this is the amount of fucks I give...

Old Skool...couldn't resist

BUT I don't want to put men off completely...so I suggest you combine So-So fly Long Nails with a Samantha Brick make-up tutorial...brought to you by the Talented Mr Kindersley...

...and I admit I'm attempting to jump on the bandwagon long after it has left town (You were pretty speedy, my dear!), everyone got there well before me...but it's never too late to look fabulous...Tell Them!

Stunning!
Fierce!

Gettin' Nailed

Yes, I'm getting nailed!  In the Library...In the Lab...no matter where, it's on!

Let me show you how it's done...

Conjugate that Mother Fraker

That is a bottle of polish you spot...never be without your Mavala mini collection, I say!  On another note, one of my supervisors complimented my nails and even suggested that MEN should indulge in the occasional manicure!  I almost felt compelled to whip my Mavalas out!

But, what a legend...a biochemist, who appreciates good nails...not many of those about...^_^

Oxidate it like it's a gibberellin

Gettin' Nailed on my work station

Well, I can't brag about Gettin' Nailed on my work station without showing you how fantastic it is.  Yes, it's 27"...I'm a lucky girl ^_~

My Work Station