So, it seems I have Finals

Yeah, what are those?

I've been "off-line" for a few weeks now and it'll be a few more till I'm back in the Blogging Stratosphere proper but I need a little diversion right now.

So, dealing with the pressure of Finals and all that academic whatever, I require a few comforts.  However, all of what I need has not been invented/made legal yet.  So can the following please get their collective asses on it.

1) Dear LV (that's Louis Vuitton, geeks) - Please can you design a fashionable brown paper bag into which I can hyperventilate .

LV

2) Dear David Cameron - Can you prescribe Adderall as part of all degrees?  It will be the one good thing you do as PM.

3) To all Lab bench Monkeys - Stop being Frack - Wits - being stand-offish, dismissive and rude.  We're in the same Dept. and I have the same desire to learn as you do - stop being dicks!

4) Dear Uni of Cambs - Can we have nail techs on request...that's not so much a request, more an order...I hate revision and I hate it even more when it breaks my nails.

To The Lab Bench Monkies Ruining My Day

5) Dear God/Omnipresent Being/Dude in the Sky/Buddha - Can you increase my metabolism?  All this sitting in front of a computer, making notes, cramming pointless info into my head is boring and encourages boredom eating.  A sedentary lifestyle does not lead to a perfect physique...Basically, can you stop my ass getting fat and flatten my stomach?

6) Dear Cosmetic Surgeon - Can I look as Fabulous as This Lady?

Oh Nicki Nicki Nicki....❤

That is all I request.  And No...I'm not asking for too much.

How To Get Men To Hate You

This one goes out to Samantha Brick...seriously, bitch, follow my advice if you want to lead a normal life...also apologies to The Boy because he his going to hate this...I just couldn't help myself...I ❤ Nail Porn, especially when it's on me ^_^

Well, how do you get men to hate you when you are So-So Fly?  I understand Sam Brick's dilemma...ha...no, I'm in touch with reality (unfortunately)!  But...

One quality that men abhore in women, apart from low self esteem and hair that's not on your head, is [what they consider] horrifically long nails...is that a quality?...ummmm...maybe an attribute...who cares?...anyway, men are not fans of talons and/or nail porn.

I just can't help myself though - I ❤ long Nails!  As well as being very elegant, they are 10 potential canvases on which to paint your personality...anything you desire.

Yes, it is possible to do that on short nails but [they look hideous and] long nails provide you with a much larger surface on which to express yourself!  Go for it!

And if you're in need of nail-spiration check out 10 Blank Canvases - She's a Genius:

10 Blank Canvases

10 Blank Canvases

But back to the task at hand - "How To Get Men To Hate You" with Nail Porn...

I tried my hand at Salon Acrylics - yes D.I.Y. Acrylic Nails O_o...

Alien Barbie

I feel like the female version of Wolverine

I used Kiss: Complete Salon Acrylic Kit.  Having never worn Acrylics before, or any extensions that you don't stick directly on, these worked out fantastically well.  It was surprisingly easy...although it has left me cimpletly incpable of typing withut mistakes...pretty mch evey wrd...

Those 3 words wr for drmtic effct...

Anyways, I'm very happy with these...pretty easy to apply for a complete beginner, giving me Nails long enough to scratch any man's eyes out...c4urslf...

Talons + Pink = A Man's Worst Nightmare

Nicki Minaj - Beez In The Trap

Beez in the Trap

My Nails even go with My Fav Hoodie&Heels:

And I know men, including The Boy, hate nails this long and this pink.  But, in all honesty...

...this is the amount of fucks I give...

Old Skool...couldn't resist

BUT I don't want to put men off completely...so I suggest you combine So-So fly Long Nails with a Samantha Brick make-up tutorial...brought to you by the Talented Mr Kindersley...

...and I admit I'm attempting to jump on the bandwagon long after it has left town (You were pretty speedy, my dear!), everyone got there well before me...but it's never too late to look fabulous...Tell Them!

Stunning!
Fierce!

Tell me I'm your National Anthem

Yesterday was the Super Bowl...USA girlie rugby national final...of course it was all over the internet...okay...all I saw/cared about on Tumblr were Super Bowl inspired nails, I couldn't care less about the actual game (NB...Nicki Minaj looked fierce@half time).  But, it made me miss the US and California...I'm always missing CA, like, I need a reason to miss it...

So, I decided to paint my nails in an abstract version of the America Flag...NB...Californian Palm Tree Thumbs ❤❤❤❤

Palm trees 

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤