I ♥ Ted

TedBaker, You have stolen my heart! 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

How could you not love a clothing and accessories brand that designs Dachshund purse clasps...

Miniature Dachshund

And everything comes in my favourite shade of pink...which is every shade of pink...

Now, they say you should match your mani to your dress/playsuit but it's a little more exciting to match it to your accessories.  So I created a mani that would nicely compliment my numerous Ted accessories.  Pink animal print on lime green covered in a coat of Essie "Matte about you".

Polishes used:
Lime Green - Inglot (#318) Check the whole range out here.
Pink - Mavala in Miami
I used Konad stamping plates for the animal print.

 Oh, Ted, How I Love Thee?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Multicoloured Haze All Around...Part II

The Summer may be showing nothing but contempt for us British folk.  While this rain is making all the plants very happy little sessile organisms - the grass is greener than ever and flowers are in full fertile blossoming mode - we are trapped inside, unable to enjoy the outdoors, missing all the beautiful scents and colours.  So, on a rather tempestuous day I decided that I shall bring the colour inside by painting my nails, dyeing my hair and painting my lips a random mix of colours.

Lavender Dip-Dye Hair - Shoreditch Bitch Style:

Don't be fooled by the camera - it was indeed raining outside...

Purple tips & purple lips:

YSL goth purple

Pretty Pink Kisses...Mwah Mwah Dahling:

God, I love posing for the camera...

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Nail Time:

This nail art is inspired by some of beautiful Hindi (Bollywood) films from the 1960s.

It's so much easier to work on nails that are not mine - the index and middle finger falsies are shown.

And I thought I should include some clips below featuring the exquisite beauty Madhubala - a huge Bollywood star during the 50s and 60s.

Madhubala

An absolute icon, who tragically died at the age of 36 as a result of complications arising from a congenital heart disorder.  I have recently been obsessed with her performance in the epic Mughal-e-azam (Eng: The Greatest of the Mughals).

The film was originally released in black and white.  And while the story, acting and cinematography are all captivating, it is something else with colour.  The colours are so intense.  Indeed it was the director, K. Asif's intention for the film to be released in colour.  Unfortunately that was not possible in his lifetime with techni-color being added later.  There is a beautiful dedication to K. Asif at the start of the film.

...

...Captivating...
...I love it!...

So Haute Right Now

Paris Couture Week A/W 2012 is upon us...or is it 2013?  Fashion dates are confusing - they seem to always be in the future yet designers are constantly looking back in history for inspiration! Backwards!

But regardless of the year, I like nothing better than looking over endless beautiful pictures of mind-blowing fashion being modeled by stunners like Karlie Kloss in some of the most opulent Parisian buildings.

Karlie Kloss for Atelier Versace Couture - The 1st Versace Couture show in 8 years

Alas it will forever be "look, don't touch" as the prices of Haute Couture are so out of my league I think their orbiting another galaxy.  I read somewhere that only about a handful of 100 or so women actually purchase couture.  As it is not something that you can just pick up off the shop shelf - RTW is not applicable (FYI ready to wear).

But if I was in possession of a bottomless bank account, this is what I would request...

Zahia Dehar (Prostitute turned Fashion Designer) Lingerie:

Some of the head wear from Armani Prive and Giambattista Valli:

Armani Prive

Giambattista Valli

Giambattista Valli

And like many others, I salute Raf Simons' first collection for Dior since Galliano's disgraceful exit - give me dresses with super slim waists and floral bustiers:

Christian Dior

Christian Dior

What I'm not interested in at all is which bastards attend which shows.  I couldn't care less if Alexa "skinny indie chick" Chung attends, I don't care where she's sitting and what she's wearing...it's probably boring and grey...that girl needs to liven up her colour palate.  I mean the first google search for Couture Week Paris A/W 2013 returned pictures of Kanye West and the vacuous Kim Kardashian.  An example of more Sh*t Google Says.  And an example of the press focusing on the unimportant issues - it's Couture Week people not "Spot Pointless Celebrities Sitting at the Front Row Week" - yawn, yawn, yawn...

However, there is still more to come throughout the week...looks like it's going to be a good one ^_^

Cheerleader Look #10: I Need A Photographer

Any offers?

I'm bored of taking pictures of me posing like a Lame-O in my bedroom mirror.  I Need A Photographer.

I also need a new setting, new scenery.  As the weather has been absolutely stupendous recently, I thought I would take a few photos of my Lab outfit out on my balcony.  The view is lovely...however, my photography is not!  It's a lot harder to take pictures of yourself than I thought!

Balcony View

I look a bit disjointed...head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!

Head, Shoulders

Knees

Toes

Outfit: Vintage Leather Jacket - Sheer Pink Shirt (buttoned to the top) - My Fav High-Waisted Jeans - Orange Sandals

 

So, if you fancy yourself a photographer, please get in touch!  I need you now!

Frollicking Like A Little Lamb in A Field

HELLO SPRING!  Long time no See!  Yes, I was talking about you a while back...you've taken your time...Oh how I've missed your excited, colourful, sweet smelling self!

Let's celebrate by watching some little frollicking lambs and some blooming plants:

To be young, playful and curious...(Representing for Napoleon Dynamite)...

Pretty, Pretty...ABCE Model (AP1/2/3+PI+AG)...BOOM!

If you didn't already know, I've already told the world what they should be wearing this Spring...if you're in doubt, check it out here.  However, I forgot to mention a key trend that, in my opinion, will always be "in" in Spring...

...Antique Lace.

I'm wearing a delicate lace slip dress, sans heels, i.e. barefoot (Flats are not an Option!), so I can dance in among the flowers and trees...although I stress this outfit is not bicycle/Lab friendly...actually, are any of my outfits? ^_^

And of course, everyone needs a flowery hair accessory complete with feathers...OTT much!

And there you have it!  I am the embodiment of Spring...

...Strike A Pose

Voguing Dahling

But let's not forget that Spring is about fun and frollicking...

❤Hello Kitty 4EVA❤

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Cheerleader Look #7 - I'm seeing Legs and Dots and possible Hypothermia

Warning:  That crap about Spring springing...it was a lie...it's quite clearly winter...a fraking, baltic winter.

Which I discovered when I attempted to cycle across town in some truly awesome, but not winter-proof tights.

Clements Ribeiro Polka Dots

Clements Ribeiro b**ch

Now, I didn't go out in these tights and hot pants, although the thought did cross my mind.  In fact, I went out in a black turtle neck dress (and chain), knee-high suede boots, tux jacket (held together with a safety pin - buttons are so 2000), and my Cossack B**ch Hat (r'prasentin' fo' ma' Kossaks).

Who needs buttons?

Cossack Gangsta

Be warned - hypothermia kills...even those that dress in a fashionably inappropriate way.

Spring is in the Air

Spring is right around the corner...some plants have even started to burst into flower, which as a plant scientist I think is pretty f**ked up, January is far too early for that sort of thing - get back to your senescent state.

But botany aside, with a new season comes a new fashion - shrug of the old, drab thick winter ankle length blacks, greys and navys and enter into the vibrant shapes and hues of spring - we're talking candy carnation couture here.

This is my favourite season - the weather dictates that hemlines aren't so short you have to bear all yet the colours are like a botanic garden in bloom (forever a botanist!) and bring some light into what seems like an eternal winter.

And I know what you are all dying to know...what will I be wearing to celebrate this season's sweet return to life?

Peplums:

Not only is it a great way to accentuate your waist but it's such a cute word (I ♥ plums).

Ermanno Scervino

Ermanno Scervino

Moving on to the next point - colours:

Pistachio:

Now, Lady Gaga mentions mint green being the colour of next season - I beg to differ...well I don't beg - she's just misinformed - it's pistachio.  I love all the pastels - pink, apricot, peach, lilac, lavender, lemon yellow, sky blue - but I am slightly obsessed with pistache. 

Versace S/S 2012

ASOS Collection

And onto shoes:

Mules are back in...but with a twist.  I'm loving the KG*Kurt Geiger metallic toe-capped version and Miu Miu mules are phenomenal.  It's trends like this that make me happy I was born before the 90s - I have so many mules in my closet that can now see the light of day.

KG* Kurt Geiger Mules

Stilettos - I've always been more of chunky heel kind of gal (less likely to break your ankles) but Prada's Cadillac Stilettos have me wanting to dice with death.

And, of course, spring would not be complete without floral patterns, courtesy of Christopher Kane (S/S 2012):

And now it's my turn:

 Shiny, flowery, sparkly jewellery!

The ring I'm wearing is probably the prettiest knuckle duster you'll ever see, it's also the fiercest - those sharp points will take your eye out.

Lavender Bows

Mirror, Mirror on the wall.  Who has the cutest lavender shoes of them all?...Er...ME!

When Hot Men Happen To Bad Clothes

Can a hot man turn hideous clothes fashionable or do they reduce him to an ugly troll?

Apologies to Mr Zacky Vengeance for the above picture.  I know, darling, you would never wear anything of the lime green variety...and if you did, I would forgive you (probably) because you would look so daper! Swoon...

However, if you are not Zacky Vengeance, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution in your fashion choices.  I say this as last week, my life was ruined by a gorgeous man wearing the most revolting jumper - it was lime green - that left me having nightmares.

I see this beautiful man around the Dept. and he is so hot I could probably cook my breakfast on him.  But last week, I was left not wanting to see him ever again...wanting to claw my own eye balls out.  How...What...Why?  The jumper was totally disgusting but not even his beauty could save it/him.  The colour did not suit his skin tone, hair, eyes, jeans, shoes...it suited f**king nothing!  Such a disappointment!

This sounds as if I think everything on this fashionable world should be done solely to please me...well, why not?  I'm bloody marvelous...but seriously, I think it is a shame when people choose clothes that do not suit them.  Yes, it sounds incredibly superficial - what counts is on the inside - true!  But you would be lying to yourself if you said you have never judged someone on how they looked/what they were wearing - God knows, I get plenty of that from men in the Dept.

So there are two important morals to this story:

1) Not even a gorgeous man can save hideous clothes.

2) You only have one life, don't spend it looking like a disgrace.

Lessons on "How to Scare a Plant Sci"

I don't mean to boast but I am the Master of scaring (and scarring) Plant Scis.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the title "Plant Scis", it simply refers to people, who study and are involved in the field of Plant Sciences (NB I'm mainly referring to men/boys here). You're probably thinking, "It must be hard to frighten scientists.  I mean, they deal with mutated organisms with mutated genomes, dangerous chemicals (ethidium bromide, anyone?), and crazy bacteria and viral particles!"  But you also may be thinking, "Isn't the definition of a 'scientist' a quiet, library-bound, social skill-lacking hermit, who shudders at the thought of talking to girls?"

I'll give you the first one - the history of science is full with stories of daring and creative people (almost cavalier), who have placed themselves (and others!) in danger in the name of science and the search for truth (♥ Marie Curie).  But regarding the second point, scientists are very out-going types - yes, they wear Lab coats and spend an inordinate, almost unhealthy amount of time in the Lab and/or in the Lib...but they can socialise, network and party like the best of you non-scientists.  So, how is it possible to intimidate them?  Well, I have an arsenal of really quite fabulous things, which seem to make people/men afraid of me.

I point out that I was not aware of the effect my swagga was having.  Only upon a few people saying, and I quote, "I look very intimidating", stating it was down to what I was wearing, have I come to regard myself as threatening.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what to do with that comment at first.  Probably should have punched the bastard in the face - "Hell Yeah, I'm intimidating Biiiiitch!"  However, it's now become something of a daily mantra...ha, ha, ha...I kid!  It's become a little bit of fun to have, "How can I scare people today?", to make the day pass a little better - laughter is good for the soul!

But at the end of the day, I don't mean to frighten people, I'm nice really!  I just like high heels, manicures and fashion - after all the Lab Bench is my Catwalk - it doesn't mean I'm a vain, selfish bitch...please feel free to come and talk to me...during tea hour in the Dept! ^_~

But anyway, if you're looking to scare some Plant Scis, here are some helpful hints:
Please note these tips have been designed with women in mind but that doesn't mean they won't work for men too!

Always wear high heels

ERYA

 Wear lipstick

Occasionally wear a short skirt or hot pants with slightly inappropriate tights

Always have fly nails (DIY or Salon)

Wear a statement hat

Cossack Bitch

Wear jewellery that looks like you just ransacked a grave

Drink coffee from this

And most importantly...

Walk around the department with your head held high looking like you not only belong in this place but YOU F**KING OWN IT!  It might be a lie but hey, these scared mother frakers don't know that!