So, it seems I have Finals

Yeah, what are those?

I've been "off-line" for a few weeks now and it'll be a few more till I'm back in the Blogging Stratosphere proper but I need a little diversion right now.

So, dealing with the pressure of Finals and all that academic whatever, I require a few comforts.  However, all of what I need has not been invented/made legal yet.  So can the following please get their collective asses on it.

1) Dear LV (that's Louis Vuitton, geeks) - Please can you design a fashionable brown paper bag into which I can hyperventilate .

LV

2) Dear David Cameron - Can you prescribe Adderall as part of all degrees?  It will be the one good thing you do as PM.

3) To all Lab bench Monkeys - Stop being Frack - Wits - being stand-offish, dismissive and rude.  We're in the same Dept. and I have the same desire to learn as you do - stop being dicks!

4) Dear Uni of Cambs - Can we have nail techs on request...that's not so much a request, more an order...I hate revision and I hate it even more when it breaks my nails.

To The Lab Bench Monkies Ruining My Day

5) Dear God/Omnipresent Being/Dude in the Sky/Buddha - Can you increase my metabolism?  All this sitting in front of a computer, making notes, cramming pointless info into my head is boring and encourages boredom eating.  A sedentary lifestyle does not lead to a perfect physique...Basically, can you stop my ass getting fat and flatten my stomach?

6) Dear Cosmetic Surgeon - Can I look as Fabulous as This Lady?

Oh Nicki Nicki Nicki....❤

That is all I request.  And No...I'm not asking for too much.

Crimes Against Fashion

This post is not going to chastise those who unfortunately lack any notion of what fashion is, nor is it going to be a rant about how high-street stores destroy perfectly decent trends (eh em...Topshop!).  This post is in fact aimed at the Local Council and the pain it inflicts on fashion.

Rather fitting for the day of City Council elections, don't you think?

So, what has the Council done?  They have made the pavements too high and the roads too tarmac-ie and hard.

Why is this a crime against fashion?  Because it forces you to wear sensible shoes and if you wear, what I call normal shoes, i.e. heels, you are destined for failure and doom...and possibly pain...

Local Council Bastards...look at that knee...that knee is now a crime against fashion, as are the sensible shoes I am forced to wear as I hobble around in an unfashionable way! 

Although in true Lab Bench Lady style, sensible does not equate to boring...

Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

Lab Bench Lady Customised Trainers

I am holding the Council personally responsible for my pain.  And you ruined my So-So Fly freshly done did pedi...ruined my shoes, my legs and my nails...

You've just hit The Lab Bench Lady's Most Wanted List!

How did it happen?  I was walking my bike along the pavement and went to cross the road - tripped, fell down and was crushed my the bike.  Now, I don't blame the bike because she is a Princess and wouldn't have fallen on me if it hadn't been for pavement and tarmac silly-ness. 

So, Council Peeps...you're only going to get my vote if you make pavements lower and roads softer.  It's that simple!